Starting Over After Divorce: How to Properly Reinvent Yourself

Divorce is not high on anyone’s list of great things. No one enters into marriage planning for a divorce a few years down the line. 

But if you are facing this significant life event, know that you are not alone.

Over 800,000 people get divorced each year in the US.

Many of them have, by necessity, learned how to reinvent themselves properly, and define a new normal, and you can too!

Here are some great tips for starting over after divorce.

Permit Yourself to Grieve

Divorce is different than losing a spouse to death. However, even if you wanted the divorce, you may find yourself experiencing feelings of grief.

This feeling is normal, and you need to permit yourself to grieve. No person has died, but the death of an intimate relationship often feels very similar. 

You have to let yourself feel and sort through those feelings. Do not dwell on the past or what you should or should not have done. But do recognize how you feel and allow yourself to work through that. 

You may wish to spend a few sessions with a counselor. Remember, this does not mean that you have a problem, it is merely a healthy way of dealing with how you feel.

Learn to Be Alone

We do not expect that you should be anti-social and cut yourself off from the world. Instead, do not be in a rush to enter another relationship.

Some people are hasty to jump into a new relationship immediately after their marriage dissolves. This search for partnership may not be a good idea. You need to give yourself time to learn to be alone.

You need time to figure out who you are as a single person. It is a strange feeling going from being a ‘we’ to a ‘me.’ You need time to process that. 

It is okay to date casually, a good idea even to have fun and relax. But do not get too serious too soon.

Discover Yourself

The advantage of being alone is that you have the chance to figure out who you are without the constraints of a relationship. Try a new hobby, learn a new skill, take that dream vacation you have always wanted to go on. 

Maybe you have secretly wanted to go back to school or take a few courses to further your career. Now is the perfect time to do that!

Embrace Your New Life and Have Fun

Permit yourself to enjoy life. Sometimes after a divorce, people feel guilty for feeling free. Or perhaps they spend a lot of time shrouded in regrets or thinking about the past.

Do not get caught up in that trap. Learn from your mistakes and try not to make the same ones again. But then move on. Focus instead on the road in front of you and the many positives about your situation.

Starting Over After Divorce Doesn’t Have to Be Hard

When the divorce papers are signed, and all is said and done, starting over after divorce can seem intimidating. But if you view it as an opportunity to embrace a new you this fresh start does not have to be scary. 

If you are still in the midst of your divorce, you will need help getting all the legalities taken care of. Feel free to contact us to help you settle things and start working towards your new life. 

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Marriage Laws Defined: What is Okay in South Carolina?

If you are considering a divorce in South Carolina, you are not alone.

You may be surprised to learn that between 40 and 50% of couples in the United States will divorce. 

But before you decide on divorce, you may need to get more information on marriage in general. 

Even if a marriage is long-standing, it can still be invalid in the eyes of the court. Understanding marriage laws is one of the first steps in divorce.

Since South Carolina is one of the few states that allow common law marriages, some confusion exists on what constitutes a marriage.

Here is what’s considered not okay or invalid in a marriage.

Engagements and Common Law

Most people believe that if a couple lived together for some time, they are as good as married under common law. But common law marriages require more than cohabitation.

Common law marriages are invalid unless they prove a desire by both parties to be married. An example could be the result of filing tax returns as “married.”

But one way a common law marriage could be invalidated is with an engagement. An engagement indicates the parties were planning on getting married at a later date. 

Those plans mean the couple acknowledges they were not married yet. Just an engagement with no formal wedding may declare a common law marriage invalid.

Same-Sex Does Not Matter

If you are in a long-term same-sex relationship, your marriage may be legal for longer than you think. Just because same-sex marriage has only been legal in South Carolina since 2014, it does not affect the length of a common law marriage.

A judge recently ruled that a same-sex couple had a 30-year common law marriage.

Bigamy

If you can prove your mate was married when you married, your marriage will be declared invalid. 

You can also prove bigamy in some cases by showing that your mate was cohabitating with someone else, had children in another relationship, or other circumstances. 

Not Able to Enter a Contract

If one of the persons married is deemed not legally able to enter a contract, then the marriage is invalid. Marriage laws require the parties to be mentally competent to enter a contract.

This also applies to people who are too young to be married in the eyes of the courts. Any condition that prohibits a contract can declare a marriage invalid.  

Do You Understand South Carolina Marriage Laws?

If you have any question at all about marriage laws and how they apply to your relationship, it is important to have expert help.

With the best insight into your relationship, you can decide between invalidating a marriage and filing for divorce. Plus, you can pursue the best strategy to protect you and your loved ones. 

While legal marriages require a divorce to dissolve, the same is not true for all relationships. The best route for individuals who share children and assets is not always the same.

At Indigo Family Law, we will help you understand your specific case. While you’re at it, learn more about navigating custody issues in the best possible way.  

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What to Do When Your Parents Get Divorced: A Guide for Teens

What to Do When Your Parents Get Divorced: A Guide for Teens

Divorce is never easy even for adult children.

If you are a teenager whose parents are divorced, then you may be feeling a wealth of emotions.

These emotions can make you feel isolated.

However, one of the first things you need to know is that you are not alone.

In the United States, up to half of all marriages end in divorce.  Many of these couples have children. While this is not necessarily good news, it should help you to feel less isolated. There are others who are going through exactly what you are; you can potentially find help and comfort out there to get you through this challenging time.

Here are some tips about what to do when your parents get divorced.

Get Out of the Middle

It is not your job to assist your parents with their communication. If they want to communicate, make sure that you are not the one carrying messages back and forth. This role will only serve to put you in awkward positions.

As much as possible, you should make sure that you do not take sides. Staying away from a position where you are the “go-between” is one of the best ways to do this.

It is their responsibility to learn how to communicate and create a parenting plan, not yours.

Do Not Internalize Your Feelings

Whatever turmoil you may be feeling, the worse thing you can do is keep it to yourself. Let your parents know how you are feeling.

If you are depressed, angry and sad, you need to say so, if only to remind them that you need help or additional support.

Moreover, knowing how you are feeling may be the motivation your parents need to talk to you about the divorce and make life after divorce as amicable as possible.

Talk to Friends and Family

Your close friends or other family members are often a great source of support. If you can find someone to talk to, your healing may come easier.

Resist the temptation to push people away during this difficult time.  Having a support system is therapeutic, and the relationships you have built (or will build) often become the rock you can rely on as other stones appear to crumble.

Tell your friends how you are feeling. Sometimes just hearing a comforting voice is all you need to help you find relief.

Get Professional Help

Finally, if you find that you are feeling worse rather than better every day, then it may be time toseek professional help. If thoughts of self-hatred, anger, and sadness are overwhelming you then you may need help to put your life back together.

Ask for help if you need it. Getting professional help is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign that you are ready for recovery.

Final Thoughts on What to Do When Your Parents Get Divorced

It is essential for you to remember that others have traveled the road you are on and have gotten through it. This means you can too!

Do not be afraid to ask for help when you need it and to talk about your feelings with your parents, close friends, and family.

If you would like more information about how to cope with divorce, please visit our blog. If you’re the parent of a teenager that will be affected by divorce and you are not sure how to proceed, contact us today and we will guide you through these challenging times.

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Planning Ahead: How Much Does a Divorce Cost?

Planning Ahead: How Much Does a Divorce Cost?

According to Forbes, the average cost of a divorce in the U.S. range from $15,000 to $30,000.

Of course, that’s the average.

To honestly answer the question, “how much does a divorce cost” we need to look at the factors that are involved.

Read on to learn more about the cost of a divorce and what factors affect the price you will pay.

How Much Does A Divorce Cost?

Each divorce is unique. That is why the price of a divorce can range drastically. The most significant factor is whether or not a divorce is uncontested.

Uncontested Divorce

During an uncontested divorce, both parties agree on the children’s custody, the support payments and how they will distribute their property.

Uncontested divorces do not go to trial. That means that these divorces are much faster and so the legal fees will be lower.

Contested Divorce

A contested divorce means that the couple does not agree about some aspect of the separation. Either one person does not want a divorce, or the two people cannot come to terms about the division of their assets, child support, or there is a custody battle for the children.

These divorces usually go to court and require a lengthy process with a lot of work by both attorneys. They are much more expensive than uncontested divorces.

Legal Fees

The most significant chunk of the cost of a divorce is the legal fees. Here are the varies items that fall under legal fees.

Attorney’s Time

Usually, the largest portion of your legal fees goes to pay a lawyer for his or her time.

Some lawyers will charge by the hour, but some even charge by the minute. The fee for a lawyer depends on how complicated the case is and how much experience that attorney has.

Also, which state you live in could affect the attorney’s rate. You can expect to pay anywhere from $100-$400 per hour.

Besides the time your lawyer spends working on your case, he or she may also charge you for travel time.

Appraisers

You will probably have to pay to have your assets professionally appraised. Assets include your home, any fine art, and collectibles as well as antiques.

Changes to Your Will

Most people need to change their will when they get divorced. The price of updating a will can go up a lot if the changes are complicated.

Document Copy Charges

You might be surprised to learn that you will have to pay for every copy of each document in your file. Documents include your credit card statements, your latest tax return and so on.

Expenses Related to Children

If you have children, there are several extra expenses in your divorce case.

For example, if you are your spouse cannot agree on custody arrangements, you will need a custody assessment. This assessment is completed by a health professional who determines co-parenting limits.

Some states mandate that you are your spouse take parenting courses before you can legally divorce.

Bottom Line

We hope this blog has helped you understand that the answer to the questions “how much does a divorce cost” depends on many factors.

Are you getting ready for a divorce? Read these divorce planning tips to help you prepare for a divorce.  Or reach out to us directly and we will be more than happy to help you through this challenging time.

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South Carolina Child Support Laws: 5 Things You Need to Know

With divorce and children, the result is that one parent is generally going to get the child the majority of the time. And the other parent will have to pay child support.

Of course, there are scenarios where this is not the case, such as when parents get a 50-50 times-sharing split.

Let’s take a look at some of the things you should know about child support in South Carolina.

1. How is Child Support Calculated in South Carolina?

When the judge orders child support, both parent’s incomes are calculated. SC child support guidelines consist of a formula that calculates the child support payments.

This formula includes how many children there are, the monthly income of both parents, work-related child care costs, health care expenses, whether one parent has to pay alimony to the other parent or someone else, and so on.

2. Can I Deviate from the SC Child Support Guidelines?

Yes, there are circumstances when you can deviate from the child support guidelines. Not every family has the same situation so there may be factors that can reduce the non-custodial parent’s child support obligation.

For instance, if you have education expenses, consumer debts, a disparity in income, the child works, or if you have six or more children, then you may get a lower child support obligation than you might expect due to a simple formula or standard.

3. How Long Do I Have to Pay Child Support in South Carolina?

If you’re ordered to pay child support in South Carolina, then you’ll have to pay this until the child turns 18 years old. However, there are some exceptions to this rule.

For instance, you may still have to pay until your child graduates from high school. If your child is 19 and still hasn’t graduated, then you no longer have to pay child support.

Also, if your child gets emancipated before turning 18, then you no longer have child support obligations.

But if your child is disabled, then you’ll have to continue child support even after he or she turns 18 years old.

4. What Happens if I Don’t Pay Child Support in South Carolina?

If the court orders you to pay child support and you willfully refuse to, then you can be held in contempt by the court. You may also receive fines for the other party’s court and attorney’s fees.

You can also have your license suspended and passport denied. In worst case scenarios, you can even receive jail time.

5. Can I Modify Child Support in South Carolina?

Yes, either party can request the court to modify child support to either increase or decrease the obligation. There are different situations where the judge grants one.

For instance, if you lost your job and now have a lower paying job, then you can ask for a decrease. Just be sure that you don’t quit or get fired on purpose to find lower-paying work because this can backfire on you.

Also, if you end up getting a higher paying job, then the other party can ask to increase the child support amount.

Following South Carolina Child Support Laws

If you are recently divorced or are currently going through one, then you may find the South Carolina child support laws to be a bit confusing.

This is why you should seek the counsel of a family law attorney. 

Contact us now for help!

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5 Important Things to Bring to a Divorce Consultation

Nearly 50% of all marriages end in divorce.

Perhaps one of the ways you can view this shocking statistic is that if you’re going through a divorce yourself, you are not alone in your experience!

Still, knowing that you are not a trailblazer does not make the process any more comfortable for most, especially when there is no “rulebook” or “guide” to walk you through the process (there are lawyers though..)

When we start talking about bringing lawyers into your divorce discussions, we want to make sure you have a baseline understanding of what to ask (us or others).

We’ve put together a quick list of essential things to bring with you to any consultation.

Read on.

1. Bring A List of Prepared Questions 

Going through a divorce is an emotional process, but don’t let yourself mistake a divorce consultation for a therapy session. Remember, this is a time to ask legal questions and get answers you cannot find from other people.

Before you head to your divorce consultation, write down at least five questions on a piece of paper or your phone. These might vary based on your situation, but they can include asking about the lawyer’s experience, how much they charge, and what you can expect.

Do not make the mistake of “remembering them in your head.” Odds are you will get caught up in the consultation and forget at least one of your questions.

2. Bring Real Estate Information to Your Divorce Consultation

Make sure you bring along any information about the property you and your partner own. You’ll want to grab things like your escrow papers, mortgage statements, and deeds.

Do this for every property you have owned together. That includes properties you owned in the past, even if you are not currently living there.

3. Bring Relevant Legal Documents to Your Divorce Consultation

Throughout the length of your marriage, you might have gathered a large amount of legal paperwork. You should bring as many of these relevant documents as you can remember.

The most important documents include the following:

  • Separation agreements
  • Social security cards, passports, and other identifying information for you and your children
  • Your children’s birth certificates
  • Prenuptial agreements
  • Any other documents from legal proceedings regarding your partner or children

Reviewing these legal documents will allow your lawyer to better understand your situation during the divorce. They will also help your lawyer construct an estimated timeline of the divorce proceedings.

4. Bring Pay Stubs and Tax Returns to Your Divorce Consultation

Your lawyer will want to know how much money you and your spouse make for the household. To give them a good idea of how your income breaks out, bring the three most recent paystubs from both you and your partner if possible.

You should also bring your most recent tax returns as well. These returns will give your lawyer a better idea of the annual income. 

If you have to choose one of these due to discretion or lack of being able to locate them, pick the tax returns.

5. Bring Incriminating Evidence (If You Have It) to Your Divorce Consultation

You might not have any incriminating evidence, but if you do, make sure you bring it along. This evidence might include photos, videos, notes/messages, or social media posts relating to the divorce. This evidence might be proof of things like cheating or abuse.

Getting a Divorce Consultation

Make sure you go into your divorce consultation with an open mind. You might want to get certain things out of the divorce, but you might not get them all. Instead, make sure you listen to your lawyer’s expert advice.

Are you in the middle of a painful divorce?

Make sure you check out some of our legal services and see how we can help you.

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The Consequences of Adultery: 4 Ways It Could Impact Your Divorce

When people get married, they hope it will last a lifetime. Unfortunately for some, this is not the case. Some studies show 40 to 50 percent of marriages will ultimately end in divorce

Dealing with the dissolution of a marriage can be hard, but adultery often makes it far worse.

In the state of South Carolina, adultery and divorce are treated differently than in other states. A claim of adultery can have adverse consequences when it comes to divorce settlements.

If you believe your spouse has committed adultery, continue reading to learn the four consequences of adultery.

1. Adultery Can Cut the Time it takes to Divorce in South Carolina

Adultery is considered to be “fault-based” grounds for divorce. When a spouse has proof of infidelity, South Carolina adultery laws allow for a quicker divorce. In some cases, the marriage can be dissolved in as little as 90-days.

This double speed timeline is beneficial to the spouse that has been cheated on because they can bypass legal separation requirements that apply to some no-fault divorce cases.

A fault-based adultery divorce is not as simple as making an accusation, however. There is a burden of proof that has to be satisfied. The petitioner has the burden of proving adultery took place, and the accused naturally may have an interest in showing that it did not.

2. Is Adultery a Crime?

Some people ask is adultery a crime. If you ever consider committing adultery, make sure you don’t live in a state where it is illegal. There are about 20 states where adultery can leave you with a criminal record if pursued.

South Carolina is one of them. Although the chances of being prosecuted are highly unlikely, you could spend up to six months in jail and pay a $500 fine.

3. Consequences of Adultery Affect the Right to Alimony

When most people think of cheating spouses, they immediately believe it was the husband. Conversely, in terms of alimony, the stereotype is of a woman who gave up her chance at a career to stay at home and raise the kids.

The truth is BOTH men and women cheat. Regardless of which way adultery and divorce play out, a person who commits adultery may not be entitled to receive alimony. Forfeiture of alimony is one of the many consequences of infidelity.

4. Division of Property can be Impacted

South Carolina adultery laws may be favorable to the spouse filing for divorce if adultery is at the heart of the break-up. In such cases, the judge has the discretion to assign less of the marital debt and a larger percentage of marital assets to the party harmed by the infidelity.

Are You Dealing with Adultery in Your Marriage?

Divorces are often the ultimate consequences of adultery. If your marriage is beyond reconciliation, you will need an attorney to help you navigate through the process.

Where children are involved, you will want a law firm that specializes in family law.

Click here to schedule a consultation.

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Is There a Good Time to Get a Divorce with Young Children?

You’ve probably heard that 50% of all marriages end in divorce, but did you know that 66% of all divorced couples in America are childless?

Does that mean that couples with children work harder to keep their family together?

Maybe, but 40% of such couples still end up divorcing.

Besides the financial considerations and legal issues, divorce is complicated, especially when kids are involved.

If you find yourself in a failing marriage and are ready to file for divorce, timing can be everything.

Is there a right time to get a divorce? We’ll explore that question in this guide to getting a divorce with young children.

Divorce with Young Children

Clients often ask if there is a right time to divorce with young kids. While it would be ideal if there were a magical age where kids are less affected by a divorce, there are many factors that surround the decision to file or wait to divorce.

Worst Age for Divorce for Children

Because young, preschool-age children depend on their parents for so much of their care during this time, the effects of divorce on this age group can be long-lasting.

Not having another adult in the home means all of the responsibilities fall on the newly single parent. A young child will realize that you no longer have the same amount of time or energy for the usual routine.

If you are not in a violent or high conflict marriage, it may be best to wait until your youngest child is in school before divorcing.

Once your child has friends and is gaining some independence, the disruption of divorce will not be as difficult to handle.

Early Adolescence

As if early adolescence is not a tough enough time in a kid’s life, adding a parents’ divorce into the mix can throw them into a tailspin.

If your preteen or young teenager is going through some developmental issues or failing in school or falling in with the wrong crowd, it could be in your best interest to hold off on filing for divorce if at all possible

*Note: Each situation (young kids to teenagers) warrants its own examination, however. Again, there is no magic 8-ball to say this age is any worse than another.

Custody in a Divorce with Young Children

A divorce with young children also has a custody component. Each state has different laws regarding custody of minor children.

In South Carolina, for example, there is no automatic legal right to custody for either parent. The judge will order a custody arrangement that has the best interests of the child in mind.

There are financial obligations coupled with custody agreements. A parent may be ordered to pay child support for many years depending on the type of custody arrangement.

Is There a Best Way to Get a Divorce?

There is no easy answer here. If your marriage is difficult on everyone, it is probably best to end it as soon as possible.

If your children are at vulnerable ages and you and your spouse can keep it together to protect them, that may be the better choice in the long run.

We help with divorces with young children and provide support for many other aspects of family law. Contact us with your questions.

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Everything You Need to Know About Alimony in SC

Are you going through a divorce in South Carolina?

Have you been divorced in South Carolina?

If you said yes to either of these questions, you’ll have considered the possibility of alimony.

If you were providing financial support during the marriage, you might have to continue to do so.

In this post, we will explain how alimony in SC works.

All About Alimony in SC

Confused about all the legal jargon and complications surrounding alimony? Read our quick, handy guide.

How Much is it?

There is no definitive formula for calculating how much alimony should be.

The amount is decided by a judge and is dependent on several factors. These can include the length of your marriage, the earning ability of each spouse, assets, health conditions, and who was at fault for the divorce.

When is Alimony Paid?

The typical alimony payment occurs on an ongoing monthly basis. However, it may also be paid in a lump sum, or in other installments.

In some cases, rehabilitative alimony is paid for a certain period of time. This alimony structure is often prescribed in cases where a spouse needs to gain skills or education in order to increase their earning potential.

Once the necessary courses or training programs required in the rehabilitative alimony decision have been completed, this kind of alimony stops.

Who Pays Alimony?

Alimony is paid to the spouse who was supported financially during the marriage. It’s usually received by the spouse who has child custody, especially if they are not expected to work full-time.

Most commonly, women are the recipients. Only 3% of people who receive alimony are men.

Marital misconduct can affect the outcome of a case. For example, if a spouse commits adultery, they’re not eligible to receive alimony under South Carolina law.

How Long is Alimony Paid for?

Alimony is usually paid until a spouse remarries or cohabits with a new partner for 90 days or more. In some cases, a spouse can receive alimony for the rest of their life.

Is Alimony Fixed?

Alimony agreements are not set in stone.

There are certain situations which are causes for alimony modification. For example, if the provider’s financial situation changes for the worse, they can request for the amount to be decreased. Likewise, the recipient can request an increase if they find themselves in financial difficulty.

If a judge decides that alimony is no longer necessary, it can also be stopped altogether.

Changes can be permanent or temporary. Either way, they need to be approved by a judge.

Is Alimony Taxed?

Those who receive alimony must pay tax on it, and include it in their income when filing their taxes.

Alimony is tax deductible for providers. However, this is due to change for divorces finalized after December 31, 2018.

Read the IRS guidelines for alimony for more details on tax and alimony.

Ask the Experts

When you are going through a divorce, it is essential that you have an attorney on your side.

At Indigo Family Law, we are experts in alimony in SC. We will guide you through the legal process, advise you on the best course of action, and fight for your rights in the courtroom to make sure you get the best possible outcome.

To see how we can help you, contact us for a consultation.

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5 Important Questions to Consider Before Deciding to Divorce

Deciding to get a divorce is a big decision. But it is one that about one-third of couples will make at some point in their marriage.

If you are facing this weighty decision, here are five questions you should first ask yourself.

1. What Are Your Expectations for Your Spouse?

Many marital conflicts arise because of unvoiced (or unrealized) expectations. Every person enters marriage with an idea of what their spouse’s role should be as well as their own role.  

For example, her mom did all the laundry, and her dad worked on the car, so that is her expectation going into the marriage; she does the inside chores, and he works on the cars. However, he does not know anything about cars and expects her to be able to handle her own car troubles.

This example is simplistic, but simple and yet uneven expectations are a common reason for marital problems. With good communication, these barriers and expectation gaps can sometimes be resolved.

2. Have You Done Everything You Can?

Once all is said and done, many divorcees begin to ask themselves if they did all they could. Rushing into divorce is sometimes a bad idea. 

Sit down and try to communicate, if possible. Go to counseling, or try to. Pray about your thoughts if you’re so inclined. Talk to a pastor or someone you sincerely trust not to share your thoughts with others. In short, exhaust all your options first.

If you do not go through at least some of these steps, you may look back and wonder if you made the right decision. You do not need that hanging over you, especially, when your kids ask hard questions regarding why you got divorced.

3. What About the Kids?

You should also consider your children. Divorce is a big deal to them and will undoubtedly affect their lives. You need to fully consider whether divorcing your spouse would be better for them.

In many cases, it is. Are you always at odds and having screaming matches with each other? Are you or your children in danger? If you really cannot work it out, that negatively affects your kids, perhaps more than a divorce would.

4. How Will It Affect You Financially?

Everyone’s financial situation is different. Thus, how a divorce will affect your finances varies quite a bit.

However, for many couples, divorcing is expensive and financially stressful. The earlier you prepare yourself, the easier the transition will be. Who knows? The time it takes you to save enough for a proper divorce might be the time you and your spouse need to work things out.

5. Would You Really Be Happier After Deciding to Divorce?

Many times people choose to end their marriages in a fit of exasperation. They’ve lived so long in a frustrating cycle and believe that a divorce is the only way to break it.

Astonishingly, over 50% of divorcees wish they had not ended their marriages.

Do not be one of them. Sit down and seriously consider if you would be happier without your spouse. You might think so now when you are frustrated, but once they are gone, you might realize how much of a hole their absence leaves in your life.

Is Divorce the Answer?

Take some time to consider these questions carefully. Do you still think deciding to divorce is the correct course of action? If so, you are going to need help to go about it the right way and secure your future.

Contact us today for a consultation. We can help you with the legal side of getting a divorce.

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