You do not think you are ever going to get a divorce when you get married.
Unfortunately, the reality is that 40-50% of couples in the United States do get divorced!
Many of these couples have children that can be negatively impacted by the process.
How can you support your family through a divorce?
Last month we wrote 10 Tips for Supporting Your Family Through Divorce. It was so popular, we added 6 more!
The best answer is that no matter what the circumstances are, keep it amicable.
Follow Divorce Laws
Above all else, make sure you are following South Carolina divorce laws. Believe us in this.. it will cause less stress. Of course, following the laws means knowing the laws. In this, you should seek to work with a partner (contact us) that will walk you through this challenging time step-by-step.
Try Not To Play the Blame Game In Front of Family
It does not matter who is at fault in the long run. Blaming your soon to be ex-spouse is not the way to keep your divorce amicable, especially in front of your family. You can imagine, going at your spouse for their wrongdoings could cause a lot of anxiety if you have children. If you don’t, you may inadvertently cause your soon to be ex-spouse to dig in their heels and fight you every step of the divorce.
Focus on the long game here. You’re only going to win in the end by getting separation from a bad situation.
Focus on the Big Picture
Before you go into mediation or start your divorce hearing, make a list of what is important to you – your needs, wants, and what is non-negotiable for you. Also, think about how you want your parenting plan to be set up. Remember to pick your battles and not fight over every little thing. Doing so will cause tension and can draw out the divorce process a lot longer than if you choose what to fight over.
When negotiating the terms of your divorce, do not hide assets or lie about your income. Being completely truthful will help the process and keep tension from rising. Another reason to be truthful is that in most cases one spouse has more knowledge of the household finances and bills. This allows both people to know what is happening. Being truthful helps the divorce to be transparent and can help each of you trust each other which will lead to an amicable divorce.
Put Children First
If you have children, they are the most important people in a divorce. They need to know that both of their parents will still be there for them, that they love them, and that it is not their fault that this is happening. You should also make an effort not to speak overly negatively of their other parent. Do your children need to be brought into your challenges?
Using a mediator can help you when deciding what you both want for your children. It is important to set up a parenting plan that you both feel comfortable with and that you can agree to co-parent your children even though you will no longer be married.
Divorce is Not War
Getting a divorce does not have to financially or emotionally drain you. If you truthfully disclose information and documents, have mutual cooperation, and attempt a reasonable compromise, you can have an amicable divorce.
If you are in the process of getting a divorce or are thinking about filing for divorce, contact us today so we can help you!