5 Important Questions to Consider Before Deciding to Divorce

Deciding to get a divorce is a big decision. But it is one that about one-third of couples will make at some point in their marriage.

If you are facing this weighty decision, here are five questions you should first ask yourself.

1. What Are Your Expectations for Your Spouse?

Many marital conflicts arise because of unvoiced (or unrealized) expectations. Every person enters marriage with an idea of what their spouse’s role should be as well as their own role.  

For example, her mom did all the laundry, and her dad worked on the car, so that is her expectation going into the marriage; she does the inside chores, and he works on the cars. However, he does not know anything about cars and expects her to be able to handle her own car troubles.

This example is simplistic, but simple and yet uneven expectations are a common reason for marital problems. With good communication, these barriers and expectation gaps can sometimes be resolved.

2. Have You Done Everything You Can?

Once all is said and done, many divorcees begin to ask themselves if they did all they could. Rushing into divorce is sometimes a bad idea. 

Sit down and try to communicate, if possible. Go to counseling, or try to. Pray about your thoughts if you’re so inclined. Talk to a pastor or someone you sincerely trust not to share your thoughts with others. In short, exhaust all your options first.

If you do not go through at least some of these steps, you may look back and wonder if you made the right decision. You do not need that hanging over you, especially, when your kids ask hard questions regarding why you got divorced.

3. What About the Kids?

You should also consider your children. Divorce is a big deal to them and will undoubtedly affect their lives. You need to fully consider whether divorcing your spouse would be better for them.

In many cases, it is. Are you always at odds and having screaming matches with each other? Are you or your children in danger? If you really cannot work it out, that negatively affects your kids, perhaps more than a divorce would.

4. How Will It Affect You Financially?

Everyone’s financial situation is different. Thus, how a divorce will affect your finances varies quite a bit.

However, for many couples, divorcing is expensive and financially stressful. The earlier you prepare yourself, the easier the transition will be. Who knows? The time it takes you to save enough for a proper divorce might be the time you and your spouse need to work things out.

5. Would You Really Be Happier After Deciding to Divorce?

Many times people choose to end their marriages in a fit of exasperation. They’ve lived so long in a frustrating cycle and believe that a divorce is the only way to break it.

Astonishingly, over 50% of divorcees wish they had not ended their marriages.

Do not be one of them. Sit down and seriously consider if you would be happier without your spouse. You might think so now when you are frustrated, but once they are gone, you might realize how much of a hole their absence leaves in your life.

Is Divorce the Answer?

Take some time to consider these questions carefully. Do you still think deciding to divorce is the correct course of action? If so, you are going to need help to go about it the right way and secure your future.

Contact us today for a consultation. We can help you with the legal side of getting a divorce.

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Divorce Planning: What You Can Do to Prepare for a Divorce

The good news is, divorce rates aren’t as high as they used to be. The bad news is, divorce is still happening.

Divorce is never an easy thing, whether both parties are peacefully agreeing to it or not. One of the most complicated parts about divorce is that it can not only affect the two spouses, but it also has an effect on children and other close members of the family.

When you are in a marriage but preparing for a divorce, there are a handful of steps to take to make the process a little easier on everyone. There are things you can do to help the legal, financial, and mental processing.

Keep reading to discover ways to prepare in the midst of divorce planning. There’s sure to be something to help you along the way.

Mentally Prepare for Divorce

It’s no surprise divorce planning can take a toll on your mental health. You worry about law processes, splitting assets, and leaving someone who used to be your best friend.

One of the best ways to prepare is to put yourself in a good mental space. Look into seeing a therapist a few times a month. Talk out your frustrations to someone who has no bias.

Whenever there are arguments during the divorce process, have a healthy escape or a hobby to turn to. Pick up an old passion or practice learning a new one to get your mind off things for a bit.

Prepare Your Kids for Divorce

Divorce planning is much more stressful if you have children to worry about. No matter how young or old they are, it’s important to support your family through divorce.

While this task seems daunting, it can be as simple as checking in nightly to see how your children’s days went. Make sure to explain to them they are not the cause of the divorce and speak with your spouse to make sure they are also present during times of support.

It’s also likely you will have to reach a custody agreement with your spouse. No matter what custody agreement you choose during the divorce planning, take time to explain the changes to your children and be open to any questions and concerns they have.

Take time to sit down and create a parenting plan with your spouse. If needed, hire a mediator.

Plan Financially for Post-Divorce

One important way to prepare for a divorce is to protect assets before a divorce. Whether this means large pieces of furniture or the plates you bought together, take time to talk it out.

Make sure to also start working through taxes and finances, and open a separate bank account to build up your own savings. Your financial situation may be tough after the divorce so prepare now.

The sooner you start making yourself financially independent, the better. Becoming financially independent will also give you a sense of pride and confidence to help you through the divorce planning.

Divorce Planning Made Easier

To make divorce planning a tad easier on yourself and everyone else, read the tips above. A little help can go a long way.

Make sure to prepare yourself mentally through things like therapy or new passions. Talk with your kids and prepare them for new changes. Lastly, start organizing your finances.

If you have any questions on divorce, adoption, or any other law processes, check out the rest of our site.

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