Deciding to get a divorce is a big decision. But it is one that about one-third of couples will make at some point in their marriage.
If you are facing this weighty decision, here are five questions you should first ask yourself.
1. What Are Your Expectations for Your Spouse?
Many marital conflicts arise because of unvoiced (or unrealized) expectations. Every person enters marriage with an idea of what their spouse’s role should be as well as their own role.
For example, her mom did all the laundry, and her dad worked on the car, so that is her expectation going into the marriage; she does the inside chores, and he works on the cars. However, he does not know anything about cars and expects her to be able to handle her own car troubles.
This example is simplistic, but simple and yet uneven expectations are a common reason for marital problems. With good communication, these barriers and expectation gaps can sometimes be resolved.
2. Have You Done Everything You Can?
Once all is said and done, many divorcees begin to ask themselves if they did all they could. Rushing into divorce is sometimes a bad idea.
Sit down and try to communicate, if possible. Go to counseling, or try to. Pray about your thoughts if you’re so inclined. Talk to a pastor or someone you sincerely trust not to share your thoughts with others. In short, exhaust all your options first.
If you do not go through at least some of these steps, you may look back and wonder if you made the right decision. You do not need that hanging over you, especially, when your kids ask hard questions regarding why you got divorced.
3. What About the Kids?
You should also consider your children. Divorce is a big deal to them and will undoubtedly affect their lives. You need to fully consider whether divorcing your spouse would be better for them.
In many cases, it is. Are you always at odds and having screaming matches with each other? Are you or your children in danger? If you really cannot work it out, that negatively affects your kids, perhaps more than a divorce would.
4. How Will It Affect You Financially?
Everyone’s financial situation is different. Thus, how a divorce will affect your finances varies quite a bit.
However, for many couples, divorcing is expensive and financially stressful. The earlier you prepare yourself, the easier the transition will be. Who knows? The time it takes you to save enough for a proper divorce might be the time you and your spouse need to work things out.
5. Would You Really Be Happier After Deciding to Divorce?
Many times people choose to end their marriages in a fit of exasperation. They’ve lived so long in a frustrating cycle and believe that a divorce is the only way to break it.
Astonishingly, over 50% of divorcees wish they had not ended their marriages.
Do not be one of them. Sit down and seriously consider if you would be happier without your spouse. You might think so now when you are frustrated, but once they are gone, you might realize how much of a hole their absence leaves in your life.
Is Divorce the Answer?
Take some time to consider these questions carefully. Do you still think deciding to divorce is the correct course of action? If so, you are going to need help to go about it the right way and secure your future.
Contact us today for a consultation. We can help you with the legal side of getting a divorce.
